Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

What I am excited about

We got the Fuzzibunz cloth diapers in the mail this week.  I love the way they look and feel!  We will begin using them this weekend. 

What I am in love with

Lil Z-Bear, you are getting cuter by the minute!  We snap so many pictures of you using my camera, papa’s camera, and our cellphones.  Sometimes about 20 of the exact same pose.  I cannot help but wonder what parents did before digital cameras.

What I am listening to on the train ride to work

Ray LaMontagne.  His husky voice and mournful lyrics are the perfect backdrop to the muddy landscape as the snow is melting and some persistent patches of ice still float upon the river. 

What has me feeling optimistic

I love this time of year.  It’s still cold and bare, but there is life underneath the barren ground almost bursting at the seams waiting to come out.  Some trees already have the tiny brown buds that will flourish into bright leaves in a matter of weeks.  That buzz of life popping around me always makes me smile.

What has me feeling nostalgic

Muddy boots.  Now that the white stuff is disappearing, there is a lot of sodden mud around.  I find my boots covered with a layer of mud after my walk from the train station.  And I find myself opting to walk through the trees and grass instead of the sidewalk because I love the squishy feel of mud around my feet.  It reminds me of childhood, when I would purposefully step in puddles just for the sheer joy of it.

Bring on the 3 day weekend!


Read Full Post »

It was a nice relaxed weekend with the cub.  There was a lot of time spent laying on the floor with Lil Z-Bear and papa staring at the clouds through our skylights.  It doesn’t get better than that!  Here are the highlights of the weekend:

We received an exersaucer/walkaround as a gift this weekend.   We weren’t too sure about it since we weren’t really planning on using one for Lil Z, but he was quite content and spent a good amount of time enjoying his new toy.

Saturday night we met up with some friends to eat dosas.  I hadn’t actually eaten these before until I met my husband who is South Indian.  So of course we had to let Lil Z-Bear try some too, and he enjoyed munching on a piece of the crepe-like wrap and he was definitely a fan!  (And as you can see, I was busy stuffing my mouth with these too :)).

I spent a good part of Sunday making a week-long supply of food for Lil Z.  Check him out drooling over his favorite vegetable: a butternut squash almost as big as him!

Even the most mundane of weekends are loads of fun with you our Lil Z-Bear!

Read Full Post »

Z-Bear and snow

Our bear takes to snow like a duck to water…

Read Full Post »

Picture from Google images

Our nanny is on vacation so this past week I took 5 days off to take care of Lil Z-Bear.  Combine that with the MLK holiday and weekends, that is 10 days I got to spend with the cub.  And I LOVED every second of it, and I can’t believe it flew by so quickly and now it is back at work. 

It is great staying at home with Lil Z.  The days I get to stay home with him, I practice a form of attachment parenting.  I stop everything else and focus simply on caring for Z-Bear.  I carry him around, give him endless hugs, kisses, cuddles and massages, don’t let him cry, and I read, talk and sing to him all day.  I want to make the most out of the precious days where I am home for him.

However, I will be lying if I said that I want to stop working altogether and be a stay-at-home mom.  All you SAHMs out there have my respect: It is not an easy thing to do.  I know there are days I have a really hard time getting out of bed and dragging myself to work.  But I enjoy working.  I like to do be productive, make a contribution, and interact with other adults.  And then when I come home, take off my coat and hold Z-Bear in my arms, it feels like heaven.  The days I am at home I miss that moment when I come back from work and Lil Z rewards me with a huge smile.

It’s hard to reconcile the guilt of a working mama for leaving the baby combined with how terribly I miss the baby with the need and desire to go out and work.   I have shed a tear in the bathroom at work because I missed the smell and feel of Lil Z-Bear, but I have also felt a sense of relief at getting dressed and heading out to work after an especially long night with the baby. 

I cannot help but wonder if other mommies feel the same way I do.

Read Full Post »

It’s been a lovely weekend spent with Lil Z-Bear.  Here are the highlights:

I gave the cub a haircut!  His hair was getting a bit long in some areas, and I wanted to even it out.  He looks way too adorable for his own good…and he is sitting up all by himself!

I made some amazingly good banana bread (recipe from a fellow mommy blogger!) and nothing quite like starting the day with freshly baked banana bread and a nice, strong cup of coffee.

We spent Sunday in Philadelphia, having brunch at Day by Day with my sister for her birthday.  All I have to say is poached eggs over smoked salmon over potato latkes covered in hollandaise is definitely my new favorite brunch food!

Check out for (somewhat) matching hats!

Waiting at the entrance to be seated for brunch

After brunch we stopped over at the Flying Monkey Patisserie for some yummy goodies.  I can’t think of a better combination for cake than banana, chocolate chips, and peanut butter buttercream icing!

Thank you Z-Bear for being such a happy, well-behaved baby who loves to explore new things as much as we do!

Read Full Post »

Dear Lil Z-Bear:

Here is the story of how you came into our world.

8 months before birth

We weren’t really planning on having you just yet.  Then, in November, it just happened.  It was the week after Thanksgiving and I had a hunch.  I didn’t tell anyone since I wasn’t even sure.  I woke up in the morning after your papa left for work, took the test, and there, staring before me was the plus sign that meant that you were coming.  I smiled, I felt so content.  And I felt so grateful.  The first thing I did was wash up and pray.  I felt so humbled that we were given such a precious gift.  The next thing I did was send a text message to your papa that said “Little one is on the way.”  His response was: “God is great.”  I knew then that all would be well.

Your birth

We were 33 weeks into carrying you, and all was going swimmingly.  I was having a very easy pregnancy for the most part, and we were very excited.  We had undertaken an ambitious goal of moving before you were born.  All the boxes were packed, all your stuff was bought but it was still in boxes ready for the move.  Your papa and I had a 4 day weekend ahead of us, some movers ready to help out, and we were going to get everything done, 6 weeks before your arrival date. 

It was 6:45 am and we were up laying in bed planning the weekend out, I got out of bed and realized that I had water running down my legs.  I thought my bladder had simply given up on me, but when I rushed to the bathroom, I realized my water had broken.   Your papa and I looked at each other in disbelief.  I took a quick shower while papa got dressed.  He asked me what he should pack on the way to the hospital.  I said no need, I don’t quite know why, somehow I still thought that the doctor would take one look at me, say it was nothing, no worries and send me back home.  I guess I wasn’t quite ready for you yet, so my mind couldn’t get around the fact that you were coming.

The ride to the hospital was a quiet one, your papa and I held hands, our lips moving as we both prayed silently.  It was a warm, sunny Friday morning, and we walked hand in hand from the parking lot to the hospital.  We still didn’t say much to each other.  We were both so overwhelmed with feelings, even if we had talked, I don’t think there are words on this earth that could have encompassed all we felt.  We walked to the maternity ward, the doctor did a check up, and yup, indeed you were coming.  The doctor decided that since I was two days shy of 34 weeks, we would wait for two days before delivering while monitoring you closely to see if anything changed.  Since you were head up, the delivery would have to be a C-section, and I would get steroids to ensure your lungs were mature enough to breath.  8 months of careful planning of how I wanted the birth to be didn’t matter, all that we wanted was for you to be ok.

The two days spent in the hospital were tough.  I stayed in bed and worked on keeping you snug in my belly while your papa spent the two days moving into our new place before you arrived.  I passed the time between praying for your safe arrival, reading up on C-sections and about babies who arrive before their due date, and watching the World Cup games that were going on at that time to distract me a little. 

The morning of your birth, I took a nice long shower, and was ready 2 hours before the scheduled 10 o’clock surgery.  Your papa and I were excited, nervous, and scared at the same time.  When I was in the operating room, I felt cold and apprehensive; it just seemed like it was happening so fast, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for you yet.   Once they gave me the anesthesia and I felt numb, I felt a little calmer.  Then your papa came in and sat down next to me, and I did not feel nervous anymore.  We held each other’s hand tight and we both kept praying the whole time.  I prayed for your health and your safe arrival into this world, I prayed for you to be a righteous person.  I prayed for forgiveness, I prayed to be a good mother, I prayed for my family and their wellbeing, and I prayed for the end of suffering of the needy in this world, and softening of the hearts of all the people in the world: I wanted this world to be a beautiful, kind place for you.  I turned over and looked at your papa and I saw him praying too, and I knew we were both praying for the same things. 

Then there was a moment when the room went quiet and there was the sound of shuffled feet and quick hands, and then we heard a wail.   The sound filled the room, yet it still was dainty and small.  Tears sprung to my eyes, and your papa and I held hands, we smiled while we cried.  A few minutes later your papa brought you close to me and I got to see your face, your eyes closed, your skin pink, and I couldn’t believe you belonged to me.  It was a brief minute before they whisked you away to the special care nursery.  But it was enough to know that you would be ok.

I have heard a lot of bad stories about C-sections, but I was very blessed that everything went so well, both during the surgery and during my recovery.  I was on such a euphoric high after your were born, either my own body releasing endorphins, or the stuff they had put in my IV.  I was so glad that you had come into this world, I felt fantastic, if I could, I would have hopped off the operating table and jumped for joy.  While I was wheeled in to the recovery room, I called my parents, who were oceans away, and told them all had gone well.  Your papa went in to the nursery to check on you and then came back to tell me everything was ok.  A bit later I was wheeled into the nursery and I got to hold you for the first time.  You were absolutely perfect, and there are few moments when I have felt as happy as I did then.

It was not how I had imagined it to be, I had expected an on time, normal delivery, to hold you in my arms once you were born, I had expected to have you in my room and feed you instead of spending the night pumping breastmilk.  I had expected we would have moved and have everything set for your arrival.  I had expected to take you home with me when we left the hospital.  But none of that mattered, things don’t always happen the way you plan, but everything happens for a reason.  And now, exactly 7 months later, I don’t think I would have wanted it to happen any other way, it was all perfect.

Love you my Z-Bear.

Your mommy

Read Full Post »

Milkshakes and snow

Moving from organic formula straight to chocolate milkshake…Attaboy!

Happy (snowy) weekend everyone!

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »